Banging on America´s Front Door

As you all know, Christian and I are moving back to the United States and are looking for places to live in Nashville. First, I don´t want to live in an overpriced dump with a bunch of undergraduates, no thank you. I didn´t live in an overpriced dump with undergraduates when I was an undergraduate, so I am certainly don´t want do it now.

I have found some really nice and reasonable priced condos (thank you housing crisis). Now here is my problem, I am pretty sure no one is going to want to rent to me for a variety of reasons. First my husband Christian FERNANDEZ is a new immigrant. Apparently people in the US want ¨illegal looking people¨ to be stopped by cops when they are walking their dogs, so who is going to want one in their new posh condo.

For arguments sake, lets say that I´m not giving the white people of the US enough credit and people won´t care that the Fernandez family is moving in next door (I chuckle at this assumption). We are still a dirt poor newly married couple with no jobs, no credit rating, and no rental history. That is going to be a problem. We are working on the no job part (I just showed Christian craigslist and he was amazed). I need to come up with a plan that makes us sound like we have more money than we actually do, and I have one. Here it is…

¨My husband and I have been volunteering in Chile for the last two years helping the underprivileged. We wanted to do something after college so we took a few years off to go down there and help.¨

Keri Wolfe you are shameful and a genius! It screams we are over privileged rich kids, YOU WANT US AS RENTERS. Why is this so genius you may ask, first because people really talk like this. Second people who don´t have money don´t call people underprivileged, and they also don´t ¨take a year off¨ or ¨volunteer¨. In conclusion, these simple two sentences will assure that we get the apartment and put us on the team of the rich condo owners instead of the immigrants who just got done jumping the boarder. American dream here we come!